


better creatures could love you (but they'll have to get through me)

by Evoxine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Healers, Hit-Wizards, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 12:06:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evoxine/pseuds/Evoxine
Summary: Healer Kim Jongin's life is wrought with instability.Ever since his first encounter with Hit Wizard Oh Sehun all those years ago, he's never stopped fearing that one day, he'll wake up and find out he's lost the love of his life.





	better creatures could love you (but they'll have to get through me)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~!
> 
> Just in case you don't know!  
> → A Hit Wizard is synonymous to the SWAT team in the Muggle world, pretty much. They are trained to deal with highly dangerous combat situations, such as apprehending dangerous Dark Wizards. Unlike Aurors, they are geared towards actual battle, and not crime investigations. MLES = Magical Law Enforcement Squad.  
> → Paragraphs in italics = flashbacks. Flashbacks are also written in chronological order.

“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

Sehun’s standing with his back to Jongin, wand out and trunk open at his feet.

“I have to,” he replies, voice soft and aching. “You know I don’t want to.”

The sheets are cold around Jongin’s bare thighs. Clothes float out from the wardrobe towards Sehun’s trunk, the garments folding themselves neatly before settling inside.

“When are you back?” Jongin should know by now that this question will never garner a solid answer.

“I don’t know,” Sehun sighs, Summoning his gear with a flick of his wand. “I… I’d tell you not to wait for me, but I know you won’t listen.”

Jongin swallows past the painful lump in his throat and slips out of Sehun’s bed, pulling on his boxers in the process. “You just came back. You can’t blame me wanting to keep you around for a little longer.”

“I can’t,” Sehun agrees, dressing slowly. “I want to stay, too.”

 _But your job is your life,_ Jongin wants to say, _and you won’t leave your job for me._

“Be safe,” is what he settles for instead. “Let me know you’re okay when you’re able to.”

“I will.”

Sehun closes his trunk, seals it, and shrinks it to fit in his pocket.

They walk to the front door together, and Sehun turns around to face Jongin once he’s got his shoes on.

“Feel free to stay here whenever you want,” he murmurs, eyes closing briefly when Jongin reaches out to cup his cheek. “My wards recognize your magic, anyway. I’ll miss you.”

“Yeah,” Jongin says, heart sinking. It doesn’t matter how many times Sehun returns and leaves – he will never get used to the feeling of bidding him goodbye, with the knowledge that every time could very well be the last time he’d see Sehun alive. “I’ll miss you too.”

A few seconds tick by. Sehun’s gaze is heavy on him, and Jongin doesn’t think he can take more of it before he snaps and demands for Sehun to resign. So he busies himself with twirling a lock of Sehun’s long hair around his finger.

“Stay safe,” he says again.

“I’ll see you soon,” Sehun says. Jongin lets his hand drop back down to his side.

“Bye,” he mumbles.

Sehun leans in and kisses him softly on the lips. Then, without another word, he steps outside and Apparates away.

Jongin stares at the empty space on the porch where Sehun was standing just mere seconds ago. With a sigh, he closes the door and slumps against the sturdy wood. Sehun’s last mission spanned three months. When he’d finally returned, showing up on Jongin’s doorstep with matted hair and bruised to oblivion, Jongin had shed tears of joy. The mission before that lasted seven weeks, and Sehun had returned with a fresh scar running up the length of his thigh. Ran out of dittany, he’d said. Couldn’t prevent the scarring. The mission before that… god, Jongin doesn’t want to think about it at all.

He glances around the house. Empty, yet lived in at the same time. It’s still the same that it’s been since the first time he set foot into the house three years ago.

His eyes land on a photograph of Sehun and Minseok – his squad leader and partner.

Jongin bolts upright, Summons the rest of his clothes, and dashes out the door. He pauses only to set up Sehun’s wards before he Apparates home. He can’t stay another second in Sehun’s home before his heart starts to fragment once more.

 

 

 

  
_Jongin’s just finished fixing an Entrail-Expelling Curse gone wrong when a nurse hurries into the room and yanks on his arm._

_“Healer Kim,” she pants. “Hit Wizard Oh’s taken a few Stunning Spells to the chest, as well as a couple of Revulsion Jinxes. He’s unconscious, and he’s got a few lacerations on his torso that don’t seem to be closing. He’s losing a lot of blood.”_

_“Please summon Healer Do for me,” Jongin says, running down the hallway and turning into another room. “And I’ll be needing some Blood-Replenishing Potions as well.”_

_“Right away!”_

_Once they register Jongin’s presence, the hoard of people inside the room instantly starts speaking at once, each person trying to talk over the other as they attempt to explain what occurred._

_“_ Everybody quiet! _” Jongin roars. “Who is his partner?”_

_“I am. Kim Minseok.”_

_“You stay. Everybody else, get out of this room.”_

_Jongin disinfects his hands with a murmur, then gestures for Minseok to follow him to the Wizard’s bedside._

_“Tell me what happened.”_

_Lifting his wand, Jongin starts casting diagnostic spells, and they run in the background as he listens to Minseok. He learns that a small team of Hit Wizards and Witches were out hunting down a group of notorious Dark Wizards in an attempt to stop the spread of Dark propaganda that’s been occurring at an alarming rate in nearby cities. Someone tripped a ward, and the resulting battle had led to this._

_“He turned around for a second,” Minseok says, rubbing at a temple. “Thought I was in trouble, I think. Caught so many jinxes to his chest that I thought he’d explode into nothingness.”_

_Healer Do walks in then, a large flask of Blood-Replenishing Potion floating along next to him._

_“Kyungsoo! Great, thanks for coming so quickly; mind figuring out what it is that caused these slashes? Auror medics have tried all the usual spells, and none have worked. I’ll administer the potion.”_

_Kyungsoo gets to work quietly – as is his style._

_“Tell me more about him,” Jongin says, trying to distract Minseok from his potentially (likely) dying partner. “What’s he like?”_

_“Reckless,” Minseok snorts. “Headstrong, almost too stubborn sometimes. But extremely talented. Came first in his class in almost every component. Youngest wizard to ever make it into the ranks of the Hit squad.”_

_“Seems like a force to be reckoned with,” Jongin comments. “He’ll be fine, Wizard Kim. We’re good at what we do, and he sounds like he won’t go easily.”_

 

 

 

  
A familiar, flowery scent washes over him, and Jongin looks up from his now-cold lunch to see Hyoyeon standing there, her gaze sympathetic. For a split second, he thinks he should pretend that everything’s fine, but she is one of the few people who can see right through his lies. So he shrugs, gestures to the empty chair next to him, and pushes his half-eaten sandwich away.

“You okay?”

Back when Jongin had just graduated and started working for St. Mungos, Hyoyeon was his supervising Healer. Now, they’re colleagues, and she’s one of his best friends and confidantes.

“Don’t know,” Jongin says truthfully. “It’s been almost two weeks – he usually checks in by now. Should I be worried?”

“You should be moving on, is what you should be doing,” Hyoyeon says reproachfully, spearing a fork through a piece of fruit. “All this coming and going… it’s not healthy for either of you. Not to mention the fact that you don’t even know exactly what you are to each other.”

“I know, but I don’t want to,” Jongin says simply. “I don’t want anyone else.”

 

 

 

  
_“You’re back? Already?”_

_Sehun grins at him and gestures to his splintered arm. Jongin tries not to smile goofily._

_“You realize that this isn’t the appropriate department for a broken arm?”_

_Shrugging, Sehun leans against the door and waves a nonchalant hand. “They were busy. So I thought I’d come see if you could patch this up.”_

_“And you couldn’t patch it up?” Jongin asks, quirking an eyebrow. “I’m sure even the newest of Aurors are able to perform that simple spell?”_

_“You’re probably right,” Sehun replies sagely. He sticks out his arm. “But I’m technically not an Auror. Help?”_

_With an exaggerated roll of his eyes, Jongin steps forward and taps the tip of his wand against Sehun’s arm. The wound heals within seconds right in front of their eyes._

_“So you can cast a_ Ferula _to bind your arm, but you can’t heal it,” Jongin states. “Just, you know, making sure.”_

_“Yeah,” Sehun says. “Thought it’d be safer to let you handle it. You know, since you saved my life once and all.”_

_At that, Jongin can’t help but laugh._

_“If you wanted to see me, you didn’t have to break your arm to do it,” Jongin says, picking up a quill and scribbling down some notes on the chart belonging to one of his patients._

_“But this way, Minseok won’t nag me to return to the office as soon as possible,” Sehun points out. Jongin leans back in his chair and looks up at Sehun fondly._

_“But you’re right,” Sehun says, running a hand through his hair and tousling the thick strands. Jongin tries not to admire how his hair pours down over the curve of his shoulder like black silk. “I just wanted to see you.”_

_“Do you flirt this hard with everyone you fancy?”_

_“No,” Sehun says seriously. “Just you. Can I_ please _take you out on a date now? I broke my arm just to see you!”_

_Jongin tilts his head, acting as if he’s seriously considering the proposition. Sehun returns his gaze hopefully. Then, he turns around and rips a prescription slip off the pad. He scribbles down his address, a date, and a time._

_“You can pick me up here,” he says, folding the paper up into a little crane and sending it fluttering towards Sehun’s delighted face. “Don’t be late. And don’t break any more limbs.”_

 

 

 

  
“Jongin? Jongin?”

The hushed whispers slowly seep into Jongin’s brain, and it takes him a few seconds to place the voice. When he does, he springs up in bed and fumbles around for the two-way mirror he keeps tucked away underneath his pillow.

“Sehun?”

Jongin turns the lights on with a frantic snap of his fingers. The sudden illumination hurts his eyes, but the momentary discomfort is worth seeing Sehun’s face. He rubs the sleep away and peers into the glass.

“You’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” Sehun says. “Sorry for waking you, but I wanted to hear your voice.” He sounds tired, and Jongin’s 99% positive that he’s got a nasty gash down his neck. But he’s whole, and he’s _alive_.

“That’s – that’s really good. I’m so happy to hear that you’re okay. And you know that you can wake me up whenever, right? Sleep is nothing to me if it means that I get to know you’re okay.”

“I miss you,” Sehun sighs, leaning back against a surface and closing his eyes. A light source falls over the sharp contours of Sehun’s face – Jongin’s heart clenches at how much weight he’s lost.

“I miss you too,” Jongin replies, burying deeper into his covers and trying not to pretend that the warmth around him is Sehun’s.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back,” Sehun says. Jongin fights the disappointment bubbling up inside him. “But know that I’ll always be thinking of you.”

“Me too,” Jongin says, his voice barely above a whisper. Sehun gives him a wisp of a smile.

“I have to go; I’ll contact you when I can, okay?”

“Okay.” _I love you._ “Stay safe.”

Sehun opens his mouth, hesitates, then closes it. He gives Jongin a little wave, and then the mirror goes black. Jongin doesn’t sleep much for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

 

  
He stares into the two-way mirror every night for the next three months.

Sehun only appears five times.

 

 

 

  
_“Let me –”_

_Jongin shuts him up with yet another bruising kiss. When Sehun’s back comes into contact with the door, Jongin feels the impact in his own bones._

_“Fuck – Jongin, let me open the door –”_

_Sehun’s dress shirt falls apart with a wave of Jongin’s fingers, and Jongin presses hot fingers to the ridges of the Wizard’s abs. He groans against the slope of Sehun’s neck, inhales the sweet musk that he’s come to associate with the man, and runs his palm further south until his fingers snag on the edges of a belt._

_“Or I could just take you out here,” Jongin says, dipping his fingertips past the waistband of Sehun’s jeans._

_“Is that what you want,” Sehun gasps, a hand flying up to grip at Jongin’s hair when Jongin nips at his jaw._

_“We’re past your wards, aren’t we? No one can see us.”_

_He Vanishes Sehun’s belt._

_“You can’t just,” Sehun laughs breathlessly. “You can’t just_ Vanish _my clothes.”_

_“Then let me take them off,” Jongin says, grabbing Sehun wrists and pinning them up against the wall above his head._

_When Sehun tilts his hips up, Jongin kisses him full on the mouth and yanks his zipper down. He’s polite enough to let Sehun keeps his jeans, but he Vanishes Sehun’s underwear as well. The man’s complaints disintegrate into the cool night air when Jongin wraps a hand around his erection._

_“What if someone from the Ministry drops by,” Sehun pants, bucking up into Jongin’s fist._

_“Then they’ll be getting quite an eyeful,” Jongin says, bending down to flick his tongue across a stiff nipple. Sehun bucks helplessly against him and Jongin does it again._

_One of Sehun’s wrists manage to break out of Jongin’s grip, and it flies down to Jongin’s crotch. He makes quick work of Jongin’s pants and underwear, and it’s barely ten seconds after that the Healer’s got them around his ankles._

_“I need to feel you,” Sehun groans, spreading his legs a little farther apart. Jongin releases Sehun’s other hand and grabs onto a slim waist – it takes just one roll of his hips for Sehun to release the most delicious moan he’s ever heard in his life._

_Their cocks slide together seamlessly, made easier with the slickness of precum and spit that Jongin so graciously provides. Sehun muffles his moans with the help of Jongin’s mouth, and Jongin holds him close with a hand pressed to the small of Sehun’s back. The other dips lower, questing fingers pushing between the supple mounds of flesh to brush at a quivering hole._

_“Oh fuck,” Sehun grits out, nearly biting into Jongin’s lip. “Keep doing that.”_

_Jongin mutters a spell, and his fingers are instantly coated with a thin layer of lube. Sehun refocuses on rutting against Jongin’s cock, abs tensing with every jerk of his hips. Jongin keeps the rubbing to small, tight circles – then, he dips a finger in, and Sehun cries out in pleasure._

_One finger becomes three, and it doesn’t take long for Sehun to come after that._

_When Jongin presses down on Sehun’s prostate, Sehun orgasms with a pinched cry, and his come lands all over Jongin’s shirt. Jongin takes one look at Sehun’s blissed-out face, rubs his cock into the seam of Sehun’s thigh, and releases with a tense shudder._

_“Can I open my door now,” Sehun asks, head falling back to land on the door with a loud thud._

_“God, yes,” Jongin laughs. He extricates his fingers from Sehun’s ass – Sehun whimpers – and bends down to retrieve his wand and clothes. He cleans the both of them up with a simple spell, and Sehun leans in for another deep kiss before the door swings open behind him._

_“First, I want some Butterbeer,” he says, yanking up his jeans and walking inside with wobbly legs. “Then, I wanna go again.”_

 

 

 

  
Jongin’s just about to clock off work for the night when the door to his office flies open with a bang. Startled, he drops a whole tray of potions. The vials shatter into infinite pieces, and the potions form a sludge that lets off a horribly foul stench.

“Son of a _bloody_ –” Jongin whirls around angrily, ready to snap at the asshole who thought it was a good idea to enter his office without a knock. “... Sehun.”

“Hey.”

Jongin can’t seem to do anything else apart from staring. His feet are frozen to the spot; apparently, so are Sehun’s.

“You’re back.” _It’s been almost four months_ , he wants to say, _four months too long._

“For now,” Sehun says, a rueful curve to his lips. His hair’s longer, skin tanner, and there’s a healing cut on the edge of his jaw. God knows what other injuries lie beneath those clothes.

“When did you…?”

“I Apparated here. So a couple minutes ago, I guess.”

Jongin wets his lips and takes a step forward. “Are you alright? Do you need me to look you over?”  
  
“I’m okay,” Sehun says. “Field medics did a pretty good job this mission.”

Silence falls over them for a few, heart-staggering moments. Then, Sehun lunges forward, narrowly sidestepping the mess on the floor, and crushes his lips against Jongin’s, calloused hands coming up to softly cup a sharp jawline.

Jongin kisses back with as much fervour, fingers digging into the taut muscles that ripple down Sehun’s back.

When they pull apart for air, Jongin sees wetness tracking down Sehun’s cheeks.

“What,” he says, panicking. He thumbs at the breaking tears. “Why –”

“It was a rough mission,” Sehun says quietly, grabbing one of Jongin’s hands and threading their fingers together. “Got a little too hard to handle at times. Even Minseok experienced some… problems. But I’m okay now, I promise.”

Someone knocks on the door then, and Jongin peers over Sehun’s shoulder to see Hyoyeon walking in.

“Ready to – oh.” She pauses, surveys the mess on the ground and the tense set of Sehun’s back, and nods. “I’ll take a raincheck.”

“Thanks,” Jongin says. She’s giving him one of those meaningful looks, the one that says _take this chance to figure out what the hell it is you both want_ , and Jongin doesn’t really want to deal with that right now. So he looks away, up into a pair of beautiful, haunted eyes, and waits until the door closes behind Hyoyeon before exhaling.

“Sorry for messing up your plans,” Sehun says, breaking eye-contact to look down at the mess. “And for startling you.”

“It’s okay.” Jongin watches as Sehun cleans up the mess with a swish of his wand. “You can make it up to me by coming home?”

 

 

 

  
Jongin dumps a ridiculous number of bath potions into the water, mixing the concoction with an absent wave of his hand. After a second thought, he adds a mild healing potion into the water as well.

Behind him, Sehun spits out a mouthful of mouthwash and straightens up.

“Water’s just right,” Jongin says from his perch on the edge of the tub. He turns around to watch as Sehun strips off his clothes. Each disappearing layer reveals more marred skin and more healing bruises, and Jongin feels a spark of frustration igniting in his belly.

“I hate what this job does to you,” Jongin mutters, staring at the year-old scar of a large bite mark on Sehun’s right thigh, left behind by a god-knows-what creature.

“Can’t be a part of the MLES and expect a safe job,” Sehun says gently, stepping into the water and slowly submerging his body into the warmth. His wince of discomfort gradually fades away as the potions work to soothe the aches and pains.

 _Then quit_ , lies on the tip of Jongin’s tongue. But he bites it, and gestures for Sehun to turn around so that he can work on scrubbing his hair.

“ _Aguamenti_ ,” Jongin murmurs. Water streams from the tip of his wand and soaks through Sehun’s hair.

Minutes pass, the bathroom filling with the muted sounds of Jongin’s soapy fingers rubbing at Sehun’s scalp and lathering up the strands. Sehun sits quietly in the tub, knees pulled up to his chest, hands slowly rippling through the coloured water.

 

 

 

  
_Blunt nails drag down the expanse of Jongin’s back as he fucks deeper into the willing body beneath him. Sehun mouths at the inside of Jongin’s wrist from where he’s got his hands planted on either side of Sehun’s head, short breaths landing cool across the damp skin._

_The fireplace crackles in the background, and the heat coaxes out several beads of sweat from the nape of Jongin’s neck. They roll, languidly, down the curve of his spine where Sehun’s fingers stop them in their tracks._

_“Harder,” Sehun pleads. “Need you.”_

_Jongin slides a hand down Sehun’s sides, thumb brushing against the tip of a scar on his ribs – the slashes from their first meeting almost five months ago that had required hours of spellwork to finally seal – to knead at Sehun’s ass._

_“You’re… different tonight,” Jongin pants, pulling Sehun down on his cock with every snap of his hips._

_Sehun doesn’t answer him, just fists his own erection with a tinge of desperation. He comes with a low wail, back arching and ass clenching impossibly hot around Jongin._

_When Jongin’s recovered from his own release, he slips out of Sehun’s heat. Sehun seems unwilling to let him go._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“I’m being sent away on assignment,” Sehun finally says, staring up at the ceiling. The fire hisses. “I’ll probably be gone for a couple of months.”_

_Sehun had needed the good part of three months to recover from all the spell damage he’d received from his last assignment. After, with Minseok wanting to slowly ease him back into full duty, Sehun had been given simple, local assignments to fill up his time. Jongin isn’t too surprised – he figures that the time would come where Sehun will be sent away again. And again._

_It’s partly why neither of them wants to put a label on what they are._

_“When do you leave?”_

_“Tomorrow.”_

_Ah. That explains a lot._

_Jongin rolls off Sehun and rearranges himself on the carpet so that their arms are pressed against each other. “I’ll be here when you come back.”_

_“You shouldn’t have to wait for me,” Sehun says. “Look for your own happiness – don’t wait for it to come to you.”_

_“I’m not,” Jongin replies. “I’m waiting for it to come_ back _to me.”_

_Sehun huffs out something that sounds like a sad laugh. “I’ll never blame you, you know. If you choose someone else.”_

_Jongin just reaches down for Sehun’s hand._

 

 

 

  
While Sehun rests and recuperates, Jongin has a hard time focusing at work. He dreads going home – he fears that when he opens the door, Sehun will be gone, off on yet another assignment.

The fear fades considerably when Sehun finally feels good enough to return to work. They leave together in the mornings, Jongin Apparating to St. Mungo’s and Sehun to the Ministry. Sehun will drop by for lunch, and they’ll sit up on the roof with their feet swinging off the ledge, eating and catching up on their days.

Despite looking forward to each lunchtime, Jongin knows this routine is short-lived.

He takes Sehun out to dinner on a Sunday night, making reservations at his favourite hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Muggle London. They have a wonderful time, feet brushing underneath the table as they eat, candlelight casting soft warmth across their face. Halfway through dinner, Jongin suddenly leans in for a kiss, and Sehun spends the rest of dinner with a silly smile on his face.

“You guys are adorable,” their waitress says, fiddling with their bill. “I see how you guys look at each other – it's so sweet. How long have you been together?”

“Ah,” Jongin says, placing a credit card down on the table. “We’re…”

“It’s complicated,” Sehun interjects, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. Jongin can read the discomfort underlying his smile.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she says hurriedly. Embarrassment shines on her face. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean to –”

“It’s okay,” Sehun says. “Don’t worry.”

Jongin finishes paying, and they leave with polite smiles thrown in the waitress’ direction.

“It’s been almost four years,” Sehun says. “Since we met.”

The night air is chilly, and it sends a shiver running down his back. He whispers a quick warming charm for both himself and Jongin, and turns towards the direction of Jongin’s home.

“It has,” Jongin agrees, falling into step with him.

“Four years is a long time,” Sehun says.

“It is.”

“You deserve more from a relationship, whatever we are, that’s four years long,” Sehun continues. The breeze blows Sehun’s hair into his face; the man doesn’t bother pushing the strands away.

“I do.”

Sighing, Sehun tilts his head back to glance up at the sky. “I want to give everything to you, I really do. And I want everything from you, too. But –”

“Work comes first,” Jongin finishes. “I know.”

“Not first,” Sehun corrects. “My work doesn’t come before you, Jongin. It’s just – I can’t be selfish. Not yet. Not when there are so many things wrong with the world, things that I can help fix. People I can help save.”

“We all want to save the world,” Jongin says, reaching out to tap the tip of his wand against Sehun’s head. Dark, silky strands sweep themselves up into a ponytail. Jongin stops Sehun with a hand on his forearm.

“It’s you, Sehun. It’s always going to be you.”

 

 

 

  
_“Be my boyfriend,” Jongin says breathlessly, digging half-moons into the hard muscles of Sehun’s thighs. “Be mine.”_

 _“I_ am _yours.” Sehun’s gasps are muted against Jongin’s lips. “We don’t need labels.”_

_Jongin stills._

_“We don’t need them, or you don’t want to have them?”_

_Sehun closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the pillow._

_“I don’t want to have them. It means I have more to lose whenever I leave. It means being scared that I’ll never get to see your face again. It means taking away the chance of you possibly finding someone else who is just as good for you. I don’t want to know what we are. It’s just going to weigh us down.”_

_He glances at Jongin through his lashes._

_“Is that okay?”_

_Jongin runs his tongue over his bottom lip._

_“Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay. I understand.”_

 

 

  
Sehun leaves again two weeks later, bidding Jongin goodbye with a rib-crushing hug and an equally painful kiss. At least Jongin feels him on his lips for a good half-hour after his departure.

 

 

 

  
After three weeks, Sehun checks in for the first time during this assignment.

“I might not be able to contact you for a while,” he says. The mirror’s moving so much that Jongin can barely catch a proper glimpse of his face. Sehun’s running. Away from something dangerous or towards something dangerous?

Jongin wants to ask why, wants to know where they are, what they’re investigating, and who they’re potentially up against. But he knows that Sehun will never be able to reveal that information, so he settles for a shaky exhale.

“Okay. Please stay safe.”

He’s getting so tired of saying that.

“I will,” Sehun replies. Like he always does.

 

 

 

  
For the next two months, Jongin hears nothing from Sehun.

The two-way mirror lies quietly underneath his pillow.

 

 

 

  
Jongin’s knee-deep in treating three patients that have suffered horrible injuries at the hands of an impulsive _Confringo_ when someone runs into the room and clutches at his arm. One of his nurses reaches out to firmly push the intruder outside, but Jongin takes one look at her hysterical face and stops her.

“What’s the matter?”

“Are you Kim Jongin?”

“Yes?”

“I’m Kim Minseok’s wife, Kim Soori. Our bond – it’s been severed.” She breaks off into a sob. “I don’t know what to do. He told me to come to you if that ever happened, said that you’re Sehun’s partner and that you should know if anything happened to Minseok, because if something did, then –”

“Then Sehun’s probably in danger too.”

He turns to the closest nurse and tells her, in an oddly calm tone, to call in one of the other Healers.

“Come with me,” he says next, grabbing Soori’s hand. “We’re going to get some answers.”

They Apparate to the Ministry, and Jongin sends his Patronus ahead of him to alert Kwon BoA, his longtime friend and Head Auror, of his arrival. She’s waiting by the door to her office by the time Jongin steps foot inside the department.

“This sounds serious,” she says, gesturing for the pair to enter. “What can I help you with?”

“My husband – Kim Minseok,” Soori begins. “Our bond’s been broken. That – that only happens if he’s dead, and I –” She closes her eyes, lips wobbling.

“It can also happen if he breaks it intentionally,” BoA says softly, settling into her seat and resting her chin on a hand. “It doesn’t mean he’s dead.”

“We need to know what mission he’s on. Where in the world they are, what they’re up against.”

“I am not in charge of the Hit Wizards, Jongin. You should know that. They are their own team, and Minseok is in charge of the squad and all assignment details. An appeal to the Minister will need to be made in order for anyone to access their files.”

“Then please,” Jongin says, struggling to sound cordial. “Appeal to the Minister.”

“That can take weeks – sometimes even months.”

Soori chokes back a hiccup.

“We need this, BoA. You know just as well as I do that I hate asking for favours. I’m _begging_ you for one. We have people we love in that squad. He – he can’t die. He can’t. Please.”

She studies him over the rims of her glasses.

“I’ll do what I can.”

 

 

 

  
Jongin receives a note written on official Ministry stationery a month and a half after his meeting with BoA. He nearly knocks over a bunch of equipment in a hurry to get to his window to let the ruffled owl in.

_They’re looking into it, but they won’t accept my request for details to be released to civilians. I’m sorry. I’ll try and keep you updated._

_Have faith._  
  
_\- Kwon BoA_

That really doesn’t give him a lot of hope. With a sigh, he scribbles down a short note beneath BoA’s message and sends the owl off to deliver it to Soori.

“Hey.”

He looks over his shoulder and spies Hyoyeon waiting by the doorway, hands in the pockets of her robes. The look on her face is one of expected wariness.

“Lunch?”  
  
Jongin shakes his head and turns back to the pile of forms on his desk. “No appetite.”

“You haven’t had lunch for the past two weeks,” she says, clearly frustrated. “You can’t do this to yourself. You’ve lost nearly four kilograms, did you know that? At this rate, you’re literally going to waste away.”

“Don’t run diagnostic tests on me,” Jongin mutters, dipping his quill into an inkpot and scribbling away. “It’s invasive.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just eat!”

Jongin flicks his fingers and the door to his office swings shut with a sound of finality. He can feel guilty later.

 

 

 

  
_I don’t have much to tell you; they’re reportedly still looking into the mission and following up on potential trails. No one in their team has been found yet._

_\- Kwon BoA_

  
_I have no new information. I’m sorry, Jongin._

_\- BoA_

  
_They’ve found the team’s medic in Norway. Deceased, C.O.D. is excessive Dark magic. No information of any other members of the team._

_Have faith._

_\- BoA_

 

 

 

  
It’s been over half a year since Soori ran up to him in tears.

Since that day, Jongin hasn’t been able to sleep more than 3 hours without waking up in cold sweat, and he’s gotten increasingly reliant on Sleeping Draughts in order to get enough sleep to be able to do his job. Getting through the days are easy enough – his work demands his full attention, and he finds himself unable to dwell on Sehun’s whereabouts. In a sense, work is a reprieve.

Hyoyeon’s long since forgiven him for slamming the door in her face, and she spends whatever free time she has with him, cooking for him and keeping him company. She drags him out once every month to meet with their school friends, and while Jongin protests every single time, he ends up appreciating the friendly chatter and their presence.

Baekhyun tries to set him up on blind dates, but after numerous failed attempts to get Jongin to agree – in which Jongin nearly singes Baekhyun’s eyebrows off in irritation –, he eventually stops. Junmyeon sends him a steady supply of expensive Muggle health products, and Hyoyeon makes it a point to include them in whatever she’s cooking that day.

Jongin spends ten minutes staring into the two-way mirror every night while he lies awake in bed. The surface of the mirror never changes.

 

 

 

  
At some point, BoA’s notes stop coming.

 

 

 

  
When it hits the ten-month mark, Jongin starts realizing that Sehun is probably never coming back again. That realization hits him in the middle of the day on a Tuesday, and he has to step away from a patient before he accidentally slices her open with his wand when the inevitable panic attack hits.

After a nurse manages to force a mouthful of a Calming Draught down Jongin’s throat, Jongin excuses himself to the bathroom where he hunches over the sink and dry heaves. Staring at himself in the mirror, Jongin registers dark shadows under his eyes, the excessive sharpness of his cheekbones, and the pallor of his skin.

He takes a shaky breath. Lifts a hand to press tentatively against his cheek. Against his lips. Lips that have been left un-kissed for much too long.

Maybe it’s time to try and move on?

The thought causes his gut to roil, and he empties the remnants of his breakfast down the sink. When there’s nothing left to bring up, he rinses his mouth out and straightens.

“Get a grip,” he mutters to his reflection. “You’ve always known that this was a possibility. He knew it was a definite possibility.”

Swiping the back of his hand across his mouth, Jongin takes one last, long look at himself before he leaves the bathroom and returns to work.

The biggest tragedy in love stories isn’t that of star-crossed lovers. It’s that of two people, who are perfect for each other in every single way but kept apart by the ferocity of the world.

 

 

 

  
It’s been a year.

He bumps into BoA on the way to deliver a report to an Auror, and she gives him a tight hug.

“I’m sorry,” is all she says. “They’ve stopped searching after turning up with no leads after the medic.”

“It’s okay,” he replies. “I’ll be fine.”

Neither one of them brings up the possibility that the rest of the team might be still out there, that they might still be alive. Neither one truly believes it, anyway.

 

 

 

 

  
As time passes, Hyoyeon spends less and less time coddling Jongin. He’s gotten some life back into him; he goes out voluntarily, joins her for lunch, and smiles more. The loss is still evident in his eyes and how he keeps the two-way mirror tucked underneath his pillow, but it doesn’t take over his life anymore.

“Jongin,” she asks one day. “You good?”

“Getting there,” he replies, giving her a genuine smile.

 

 

 

  
The world shifts from beneath Jongin’s feet one autumn morning.

He’s busy tending to the potted plants on the balcony, wand spouting a small, but steady stream of water into the loosely packed soil when his wards alert him to an intruder. Wand at the ready, he strides over to his front door and opens it. What he sees on the other side causes his wand to clatter to the floor in a shower of sparks.

“Your wards no longer recognize my magic,” Sehun says, smiling wistfully. His shoulders are hunched against the sudden wind, fingers jammed into the pockets of his fitted jeans. He’s got a couple of new scars – of course he does – running down the side of his neck, and his once-long hair is now short, the sides shaved down to a close cut. There’s a healing cut below his eye and one on his lip, but from what Jongin can see, Sehun is in one piece, and alive.

Jongin can feel his heart threatening to break out of his rib cage, and he faintly registers the fact that there is an _owl_ hooting at him.

“Do you want me to, uh, get that for you?” Sehun gestures to the owl. When Jongin doesn’t respond, too shocked to even take a decent breath, Sehun reaches out an unfastens the note from the owl’s leg.

“Oh. It’s a message from Soori; she –”

“You’re back,” Jongin croaks. He feels the pinprick of tears behind his eyes, and longing surges up his throat. “You’re actually home?”

Sehun gazes at him, note in hand, and Jongin reads sadness, sorrow, and regret in his eyes. But that’s all overshadowed by the sheer amount of love he sees. God, how his heart aches.

“Yeah,” Sehun says quietly. “And this time, I’d really like to stay. If you’ll still have me?”

Jongin lurches over the threshold and out of his wards, and pulls Sehun into his arms. Sehun clutches at him instantly, hands spread out as wide as they can get over Jongin’s back.

“It’ll always be you, remember? I keep my word,” he mumbles into Sehun’s hair. “Always, Sehun, you hear me?”

He kisses Sehun full on the lips, and he doesn’t stop until he’s made up for all the time lost.  
  
"I love you." He presses those three words against Sehun's lips over and over. Sehun echoes them with just as much ferocity. 

 

 

 

  
“We were ambushed,” Sehun says, hands clutching a mug of hot tea. “We couldn’t get to our extraction point, and all we could do was run on foot. Didn’t work for long; we got captured, and they took turns interrogating us for information. We were made to watch, sometimes. Marc died, painstakingly slowly, from the torture – I’m quite positive they brought him back to life several times just so they could continue picking away at his soul. They threatened our families, the people we cared for, but none of us caved. I was so thankful I destroyed the mirror right before they caught us; tracking you down through it would’ve been so easy. That’s why Minseok severed his bond with Soori. Better having her think he was dead than to have them hunt her down, too.”

He takes a sip of tea.

“I don’t know how long they had us for. Long enough, I guess. They started slacking on security, and it was with luck that we managed to escape. We fled to a neighbouring country for help, but Minseok got hit with a bad curse along the way. He was in no shape to travel, so we had to lay low while he recuperated. Some of us lost our wands, so duelling wasn’t the best option. We were stretched thin; exhausted from the constant running and hiding, having to go without food for days on end… we slipped, and they caught up to us. Lost Kat and Mikael during the resulting battle. I’ve never seen so many curses tossed around in my life. Couldn’t even stop to give them a decent burial.”

Broad shoulders cave in, and Sehun’s knuckles turn white around the mug. A candle on the table flickers.

“We could’ve taken a portkey and come back for help, but we didn’t know how many of them there were. What if the men after us were just a small faction? We could’ve brought utter devastation along with us if we returned. So we decided to stay, the remaining nine of us, and fight them. Took us a while, huh?”

He looks across the table at Jongin. “But we did it. And we got to come home.”

Jongin runs a hand down his face.

“You have to promise me that you’re not leaving anymore. I don’t care if I sound selfish, I don’t care if it’s unfair, I just –”

“I promise,” Sehun says easily. “I really do. I didn’t come here straight away because I made a trip to the Ministry to submit my request for a transfer to the Aurors. Informed BoA directly that I’d like a spot on a domestic team. I’m not leaving you anymore.”

“You’re not leaving anymore,” Jongin repeats. He can hardly believe his ears.

Sehun smiles fondly at him. “Not leaving anymore.”

 

 

 

  
“I don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of these scars,” Jongin mumbles, smoothing his fingers across a conglomeration of criss-crossing lines that adorn Sehun’s back. Looking at all the marred skin tugs painfully at Jongin’s gut, and he doesn’t want to think about what Sehun and his entire Hit Wizard team had to go through.

“I don’t expect you to,” Sehun replies, sitting patiently on the edge of the tub as Jongin examines him.

“There are still traces of Dark magic in several wounds; you’ll have to come to St. Mungo’s with me tomorrow so I can treat all of that, okay?”

“Okay,” Sehun agrees easily.

Jongin spends quite a bit of time reciting spell after spell in an effort to alleviate the strain that Sehun’s body has been under during the entirety of his ordeal. By the time he’s done as much as he could without the necessary equipment in St. Mungo’s, Sehun’s already falling asleep, head lolling forward as he relaxes under Jongin’s ever-soft touch.

“Hey,” Jongin says, gently nudging Sehun awake. “I’m done. Do you want to take a quick shower and then catch up on some sleep? I have several vials of Sleeping Draughts if you think you’ll need them.”

“I won’t need them if you join me in bed,” Sehun mumbles, standing up and turning the shower on. He scrubs at his hair mechanically, eyelids heavy, and Jongin Summons a set of clothes for him from his bedroom.

“Let me go change the sheets,” Jongin says. “I’ll see you there?”

Sehun nods, and Jongin exits the bathroom.

 

 

 

  
“You’re just as warm as I remember,” Sehun says quietly, burrowing deeper into Jongin’s chest. The sheets are pulled high over their shoulders, and while Jongin is wide awake – it is the middle of the day, after all –, he’s extremely content where he is.

“I'm not used to you with short hair,” Jongin replies, running his fingers through Sehun’s hair. “It was so long when I last saw it.”

“I planned to cut it all off the second I returned,” Sehun says, closing his eyes. “Start anew.”

“It's nice,” Jongin offers. Sehun smiles sleepily.

“Hey,” he says, fingers curling into the fabric of Jongin’s shirt. “Marry me.”

Jongin blinks down at the crown of Sehun’s head. He tries not to think about how Sehun must be able to hear the pounding of his heart.

“What?”

“Marry me. Let’s get a house together, paint the walls different colours, and I can be in charge of the dishes while you cook. We can meet up after work, Apparate home, and spend the rest of the night curled up in front of the fireplace in woolly socks. We can go into Muggle London, watch five movies in a row, and make out shamelessly with buttery popcorn all over our lips. We can get three dogs, and they can run about in the yard as we sit under the shade and drink some coffee. I’ll scrub your back in the shower whenever you want. I want to be yours forever. I want to love you forever. I want to make up for all the time we’ve lost, and I want to do that as someone who’s more than just your boyfriend.”

Jongin stares down at Sehun’s profile – his eyes are still closed, and his eyelashes are lying flush against the rings of darkness underneath. But there’s colour in his cheeks, and his lips are curled up in a hopeful smile.

“Yes,” Jongin finally says. His voice is rough, veins singing with elation, and Sehun lets out a soft laugh against Jongin’s collarbones.

Sehun falls asleep almost immediately after that, and Jongin holds him tight through his slumber.

 

 

 

  
_“Have you ever thought about marriage?”_

_Sehun looks over at him, an eyebrow crooked in curiosity._

_“Sometimes,” he admits. “Why?”_

_“I grew up wanting to never get married,” Jongin says, running a finger up and down the curve of Sehun’s hipbone._

_When he doesn’t say anything else, Sehun frowns. “But?”_

_“But.” Jongin’s fingers leave tingles in their wake as they caress the inside of Sehun’s thigh. He brushes over an old scar. “I’ve learned that people can change you.”_

_He presses a kiss to the hollow of Sehun’s neck and nudges his legs open. Slots his own thigh in-between them._

_“What?” The word comes out slightly breathless._

_“Never you mind,” Jongin says, thumbing at the swell of Sehun’s lip as he shifts to align his entrance with Sehun’s cock. “This is a conversation for another time.”_

**Author's Note:**

> (｡･･｡) 
> 
> Well, this was an adventure to write.
> 
> 1) They're around 22/23 when they first meet!  
> 2) So I wanted to write Jongin as the more... vulnerable one, for once. A lot of sekai fics portray Sehun as the one who's 'softer', the more 'submissive' one, or the one who receives more angst – am I making sense? I don't know if this turned out a little OOC, but I don't think it did. Sehun has every possibility to be as 'alpha' as Jongin is usually written in fics (mine included, of course), so yeah, I wanted to see how that would come out.  
> 3) I also wanted to have them switch during sex, but I know most people prefer top!Jongin. So that's why simply I alluded to top!Sehun at the end. I really think this fic/AU is one of the best ones to explore top!Sehun, haha  
> 4) Hyo was a really random choice tbh lol, but I think she's more suited for her role here than a lot of other female idols. BoA is obviously an intentional choice – she's the queen!!  
> 5) I don't know if it's obvious to the other person if one of a set of two-way mirrors are destroyed. I assumed that no, there wouldn't be any evident markers that suggested the other mirror has been destroyed, which is why Jongin never thought to think that way.  
> 6) They're both very mature regarding the status of their relationship; I attributed this to the fact that both their jobs would require constant exposure to loss, so they know that being unreasonable about it would just make things worse.  
> 7) I would never kill either one of them, don't worry.  
> 8) And I really like the idea of Sehun with long hair (+ in a bun), okay :/  
> 9) Oh!! And this is a MODERN DAY hp!au – wizards and witches have learnt that sometimes, robes aren't the best things to work in. And that jeans are a wardrobe staple.
> 
>  
> 
> [Click for Links!](https://bluedveins.wixsite.com/evoxine)


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